First day of February, and what did we awake to this morning? Warm yet pale light poured out from a somewhat familiar orb in the sky- just reaching in and gently pressing through the curtains to cast shadows around the living room.
And the sky! I had forgotten that on occasion it's blue. Can you see it peeking in from the window above the built-ins?
Of course, here it is in the middle of the afternoon, and light and blue are already a distant memory. Still- we rejoice in the moment, right?
Things have been busy around here for us- last week the Younger had his violin concert and then the following evening a dress rehearsal and the evening after that, his school play. Then Friday evening we were off to Seattle to visit my grandparents for the weekend.
It was a restful and blessed visit, but simply not long enough. The best part was just being away- away from all the pain and memories that my own home is holding at the moment, and back to the one place left that doesn't hold only reminders of my current sorrow. For a little while you just feel safe and cared for and free.
It was like God gently proving Himself- "You will not always carry the pain- it can be a bruise instead of a gaping wound- just leave it in my hands. I'm in control completely"
I think the reality is that I am already safe and cared for and free. I just don't readily have the eyes to see it- I get so preoccupied with pain control.
But it's true and it's there and every hour I have the choice to believe it's true or believe there is only pain I'm helpless to control.
One reminds me that God is beyond-imaging-big and the other just calculates completely without him.