Proof that there was sun and blue sky this morning . . . if only for a little while.
Though at this point I'm quite used to being sleep deprived, this tired is a little different than my norm- more of an emotional tired than a real physical one. And coffee makes no dent in it- though I've tried.
This is the kinda tired where you want to see no one, do nothing, and try nothing and not even your favorite occupations can distract you from it. You're cranky and pouty and annoyed with yourself for being so. It's the tired that finds you unable to start the creative project you planned, because in the mode you're in you know you'll just screw it up.
A tired where instead of enjoying the morning's blue sky and bright sun you spend all morning angry at your husband because during the night you dreamed that he cut down the blue spruce tree that used to be in your grandparents' front yard . . . years ago. And worse, he did so without asking you. And further more, when you confront him about it as he lounges on the couch, he answers you nonchalantly that you have no right to say anything about it because you're not the type of person who makes quick comebacks.
That kind of tired.
So here I am, trying to put it out there so I can start moving upward and onward. There are banana muffins to bake and though I am still incredibly sore all over, I'm thinking that if I take it in small stints I may actually get them made. And I'm kinda thinking muffins and Earl Grey could make things a wee bit better. Especially paired with the book I've been reading . . . The Blue Hills, by Elizabeth Goudge. Does anyone else read Elizabeth Goudge? She's out of print but I adore her books. This one I happen to be borrowing from my mother as they're hard to come by. Yes, I'm definitely thinking a long stretch of reading and some muffins may be the answer here.
I'm off to the kitchen- the sun just came out again. :)